Valentine’s Day Gifts: What Does the Heart Really Want?
Flowers, chocolate and hearts enhanced with terms of endearment. The card that says just what you’ve always wanted to hear. Romantic getaways, silk nightgowns and jewelry. The best sex of your life. Diamonds are forever! These are the trappings of Valentine’s Day. But do they really satisfy? It depends…on what you expect from them.
Our culture’s ideas about romance do us a real disservice. Most of us grow up believing that we will be happy when and only when we find our perfect partner (who will then, of course, bring us the perfect gifts to show how much they love us!) If we buy into this story (and it’s difficult not to do it), then we may spend our single years desperately wishing for a partner only to find that love, when it comes, leaves us frustrated and disappointed. Whether or not you are involved with someone now, take an honest look at your relationship history. Do you expect that your partner will read your mind, discover your unspoken needs, and meet them? While many of us bring such expectations into our romances, the truth is that the only time we can appropriately expect such a response is when we are infants. And of course, even the best parents can’t always figure out what a baby wants (so now perhaps you’re looking for your partner to make up for how your parents—or siblings or friends or past lovers—let you down).
As beautiful and healing as relationships can be, I know from personal and professional experience that you can never get what you are looking for from a relationship as long as you are hoping that your partner will satisfy your heart’s deepest longings. True love implies freedom to allow the other person to be who they are–and you can only offer that freedom when you take responsibility for your own needs. If you find yourself feeling let down at Valentine’s Day, your birthday or other holidays, ask yourself what is driving your expectations. Do you expect a gift to make up for something else that’s missing in your life? Do you resent what you receive because you think it reflects a lack of intimacy or investment in the relationship? If you don’t believe that your partner (or anyone) “gets you,” have you taken the risk of being vulnerable enough to be authentic and ask for what you want? Do you believe that gifts are a measure of how much you are loved (or not?)
If you are not in a romantic relationship, are you waiting to create the life you want until the right person comes along—when you might actually find the right person on the way to creating the life you want? Each of these questions ultimately boils down to this: have you neglected self-intimacy and self-responsibility with the expectation that someone else will make you happy? Carefully examining your feelings around gift-giving and receiving may encourage you to gift yourself in loving ways, so that you don’t look to others to satisfy empty spaces that only you (or the Divine) can fill. Are you craving a little sweetness in your life? Offer yourself some. Invest in some really amazing organic chocolate and savor it slowly. Look for crocuses peeping out from the frozen ground. Brighten up your home with some flowers (since you are buying them, you will get exactly what you want!) Find a fun, funky little coffee shop that you’ve never visited and sip on a warm drink. Spend the day doing nothing but taking baths and naps, reading books and watching movies. Want some sparkle? Bundle up on a cold night and let yourself be amazed at the stars. Take an afternoon to window shop for amazing jewelry or try on beautiful clothing. Quit waiting for someone to throw you a surprise party and plan one for yourself. Does your body want to be touched? Seek out people who give good hugs. Get a massage or a pedicure. Splurge on silk sheets or pajamas (or both!) Get some amazing smelling lotion and rub it all over yourself. Perhaps none of the above suggestions sound appealing to you. Only you can know what you really want and need. Take responsibility for yourself, and you might be amazed how satisfying all your relationships suddenly become.
Kimberly Schneider
The Manifestation Maven
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
Email this postProsperity Experiment Week One: The Only Thing Wrong with this Picture…
Week one of the prosperity experiment has just ended. It was a week sprinkled with some nice surprises and some surprises that have called me to deepen as well.
Today’s the first day I can spend some money for something other than necessities.
Interesting thing is: I’m not itching to do that. Nice to know that I can, yet I’ve been surprised by how easy it has been to make different choices this week. This week it will be time to begin reviewing recurring charges to see if there are any I want to release.
I am liking the open-ness and receptivity that have awakened around money during this week.
That’s not to say there haven’t been some challenges in the last few days:
Some major business deals we thought were coming through in the last several weeks have yet to materialize. So I’m releasing attachment to form.
Many of the people I love are dealing with major challenges to their faith right now. No need to go into the stories.
And then, on Monday we found out Bridget will need heart surgery this spring. We’ll be scheduling it for May.
I’m feeling grateful for all the cleansing I’ve done this past month because the deep inner work is giving me the tools I need to create magic and miracles. That’s what I came here for, right? A grand adventure, a chance to remember that I’m a co-creator in an awesome multiverse…
Last night I went to my Celtic spirituality group and we did a meditation with the GoddessBrigid/St. Bridget for her feast of Imbolc, which is just a few days away. Brigid governs healing, inspiration and smithcraft. In the guided meditation we were asked to visualize Brigid molding a beautiful bronze object in her creative fire. What I saw was that I was the craft being purified and molded in the fire of my life. This week, all of the people most dear to me: David, Maddie, Bridget and my Mom are carrying heavy burdens. My natural tendency is to want to fix it all for them, to make it ok. But my vision made it clear that DOING in the outer world is not in resonance with my soul right now.
Brigid showed me that my task for the moment is to go inside. To seek guidance moment to moment. To hold on to my inner vision, no matter how chaotic the outer world may appear. And to act only when I am inspired by the clarity I receive from deepening into my Essential Self.
So I keep asking myself the two questions: 1) who do I want to be? 2) what would that person do, right now?
I want to be the person who is awed by her capacity for joy, who awakens to the wonder of being alive, who creates magic and miracles wherever she goes. So I’m called to be authentic, to be tender with myself, to dig deep, to trust in the benificence of the Universe, to let joy bubble up in me and then share it with everyone I touch.
I know I’m one of millions today holding fast to my center as the world around me seems to crumble. And I’m trusting that everything that’s happening….EVERYTHING…in my own life and in the culture at large… contains a portal to my heart’s deepest desires, to OUR deepest desires.
Today I’m breathing and releasing attachment to form and throwing myself into the arms of the infinite.
Because, as Marianne Williamson says, “the only thing wrong with this picture is that you think there’s something wrong with this picture.”
If you want to send prayers and healing to Bridget, we welcome it! Please picture her having fun in Ireland with us next summer! You have my heartfelt appreciation.
Sending you peace, joy, love, wisdom and abundance,
Kimberly Schneider
PS A number of people have asked me to resend the information on the Ireland trip. A few spaces remain…we’re going in July. Thinking about this makes me happy! If you want to find out more just go to www.KimberlySchneider.com/trips
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Prosperity Experiment: Tasting the Cornucopia
Fascinating, this experiment in letting go to receive.
I’m actually enjoying NOT spending money because it’s so fun to see how I’ll get surprised and supported, financially and otherwise.
On days 1 & 2, as I already reported, I had a nice flow of cash I had not expected. In addition, I scheduled a radio interview with a NY Times Bestselling author AND a literary agency in New York requested more information about my book.
On day 3 of the experiment, I had NO bills in the mail (if you checked my mailbox every day, you’d know that this is a historically unusual experience). Instead, the mail offered me a $19.68 refund from a company I didn’t know owed me money, a $10 starbucks gift certificate and a statement from a credit card showing a zero balance (when I thought I still had one payment to go).
Day 4 (yesterday) David and I picked Maddie up from her 24 hour retreat at our church.
A little history here: We belong to a Catholic church associated with one of the Universities in our area, and we drive about 30 minutes to get there because it’s a diverse, inclusive community where I feel at home. I sought this place out when Maddie was old enough to start receiving religious instruction. At the time I was struggling with whether I wanted to pass our heritage on to her at all, due to its messy and far from perfect record on equality and…other stuff. It’s not the place here to go into my whole history with Catholicism, so l’ll leave it at this: I finally decided I’d never find a perfect church, as long as it was run by human beings. I also thought that if I wanted to teach my daughter compassion then I could start with showing her the power and healing you can find even in the midst of imperfection. The experience has been wonderfully expansive. But I was not prepared for what it offered me this weekend!
Maddie was telling us that the retreat was focused Transfiguration. Frankly, she’s not that interested in the Christian images for God…she relates more to the Divinity expressed in an atom or a galaxy, scientist that she is. Still, she had a good time and we had an interesting discussion about the possibilities for transfiguration present to all of us, in every moment….Christ showing us how to remove our masks to reveal the GodHead hiding beneath.
And then Maddie pulled a small white piece of paper out of her pocket.
“Here Mom. One of the College Counselors gave it to us. I figured you’d like it. It’s a prayer.”
My eyes drank in these words:
Eternal Spirit,
Earth-maker, Pain-Bearer, Life-giver
Source of all that is and all that shall be,
Father and Mother of us all,
Loving God, in whom is heaven:
The hallowing of your name echo through the universe!
The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world!
Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!
Your commonwealth of peace and freedom
sustain our hope and come on earth.
With the bread we need for today, feed us.
In the hurst we absorb from one another, forgive us.
In the times of temptation and test, strengthen us.
From trials too great to endure, spare us.
From the grip of all that is evil, free us.
For you reign in the glory of the power that is love,
now and forever. Amen.
By the end of the prayer (the author of which is unfortunately unknown to me) I was crying. Not only because the prayer touched me, but because, as I said to Maddie and David, I was so grateful we had found a church that could connect her with her anscestors AND give her a prayer like this.
Last night I was reviewing the results of the experiment so far in my mind. I lay in bed with Bridget as she fell to sleep, smelling the sweet smell of her hair and feeling the soft rise and fall of her chest against me. Today I’m celebrating 19 years since I met that exquisite human being who’s still my husband. I’m sitting in my home this morning… which is actually clean because all these weeks of “cleansing” my mind and my body have produced time, space and energy to purge my life of all sorts of stuff that no longer served me. I’m listening to an orchestra play music that reminds me of Ireland, where I’m returning in a few months. And in a few minutes I’m heading out the door to facilitate a meditation group with my Mom. I feel as if I’m living in a vast and glorious world that blesses me moment to moment to moment. I’m tasting the Cornucopia.
Are you up for a prosperity experiment? Let me know. I’d love to hear what’s happening for you.
Kimberly Schneider
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
Prosperity Experiment: Feeling more abundant already!
Today’s the 2nd day of my Prosperity Experiment….day 2 of no spending outside of necessities.
So WHY would I kick off a prosperity experiment by doing a week of NO spending?
Let’s get this straight…it’s NOT about restricting or cutting back. It’s about consciousness.
I’ve done a couple of different kinds of “cleanses” recently. First I fasted from media and external influences for 12 days, replacing that with silence and reflection. Then I fasted from my regular food routine, replacing that with a gentle, nutrient dense 5 day program.
And I’m feeling different…more conscious about what I let into both my mind and my body.
So now want to get the same kind of awareness about what I do with the energy I wrap up in money.
So here are the rules I’ve made up so far:
1) 7 days of no spending except for groceries, gas & other necessities (yes, I did include a haircut and highlights in the necessities department…now that I’m on tv regularly that didn’t seem like a big rationalization. Call me out on this if you want).
2) Letting go of all plans around how money is coming to me. I am inspired by David Whyte’s poem What to Remember When Waking. At one part he says:
“What you can plan is too small for you to live. What you can live wholeheartedly will make plans enough for the vitality hidden in your sleep.”
So, each day I wake up and meditate for a few minutes. Then I ask my Source to guide me. I’m literally asking, moment to moment, what feels right to do next. If I have a scheduled appointment, I’m keeping it. Other than that, I get quiet and ask “what’s next” and wait for the feeling of opening, excitement, appreciation, joy.
I’m letting my Higher Power surprise me. This drives my ego crazy, since it is really into the HOW (planning for every contingency, figuring it all out, mapping out my whole life). I’m offering my ego lots of support and compassion right now.
3) Beginning day 8: a bill by bill review of all the recurring charges that show up on my credit cards so I can decide what’s still serving me and what’s not.
That’s all I know for sure right now about my rules. I’ll let you know if I have more. I don’t even know how long the experiment is going to go on, but I’m pretty excited. And you know what, I’m already feeling more abundant! Which is funny when you think about the fact that I haven’t spent any money. Even though I’ve been to one of my favorite coffee houses twice in the first two days of this experiment, I didn’t even miss my Cambric w/ Earl Gray & soymilk. I went there to meet people and bought nothing! And it was no problem.
So here are the results so far, 1 and 1/2 days in:
- $1,600 flowed in that I was not expecting. So hey, I’ll take that!
- Two people offered to buy me breakfast (neither of them knew about the experiment)
- I just have to mention that the day BEFORE I started this, when I was just THINKING about doing it, I went to my mechanic because I had difficulty starting my car. So they gave me a new battery. But they didn’t charge me anything. Nada. Zip. Zero. And they didn’t forget to have me pay, they gave me a receipt showing no charge. That’s never happened to me before. Wild! So, needless to say, that convinced me to take the plunge.
- Someone who had expressed an interest in one of my platinum level coaching programs let me know she wasn’t going to take the plunge…AND I felt great about it! I smiled reading her email, because I knew it was the right decision for her, and that I was being taken care of in every way. I felt exactly the same as I would have felt had she emailed to say she was joining the program!
- I looked at my calendar today and realized I had a phone appointment with a prosperity alignment coach (no this wasn’t cheating…it was scheduled and already paid for a long time ago…coincidence? I think not!) and it was amazing. Feeling even better since that appointment with her. Another manifestation of abundance! Check her out. www.JenniferBloome.com
What do I want to get out of this experiment? Well, of course, money is always fun. There are lots of things I want to do, experiences I want to enjoy, and people I want to help. And money is a great tool to make all that happen. Really though, what I’m looking for is to have that feeling that I have everything I need, that I’m always connected to the Cornucopia, be part of my moment to moment experience. Every day. All the time. And I want to enjoy the surprises. And have fun.
Want to join me? I’d love to hear about your prosperity experiment! Let’s support each other!
Abundant Blessings,
Kimberly Schneider
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
The Prosperity Experiment: Let Go and Prosper
So I’m doing this cleanse thing.
You know, you quit eating normally for a set period of time, feed your body very low cal, high nutrient stuff and let it rest and unload toxins, get rid of your food cravings & extra fat and water. That kind of thing (I found one I really like this time…done for me, easy, I’ve felt balanced, clear and energetic! Woohoo!)
This is my last day of the cleanse. I’m excited about tomorrow, not because I’m going to go back to carb loading like I was doing before (not the best plan, but you know about cravings don’t you?) I’m excited because I feel free again. I have a sense that I can be mindful about my food and enjoy it as an exquisite way to nourish my body, rather than a vehicle for stuffing emotions or keeping me going for another few hours. I am in a new relationship with my body. And that got me thinking.
Last month I did an Inner Experiment where I cleansed myself of outer influences like books, radio, tv, movies, blogs, etc. I got quiet. And a funny thing happened. While I’ve returned to a little input from the outside world, I usually drive around in silence now, no radio, no phone. When I’m waiting for my computer to load, I’m closing my eyes and repeating my mantram. I’m just more centered and clear. And now the same thing seems to be happening with food.
So I thought: why not do the same with money?
Money is energy. And we often use it, like we do with food, tv, reading and all kinds of habitual patterns, to distract ourselves from uncomfortable feelings. So I’ve decided to get more conscious about my money this month. I’m going to do a 30 day Prosperity Experiment. Want to join me?
I don’t have all the details worked out yet. I know I’m going to forego spending on everything but necessities (food from the grocery store, gas, paying bills, that kind of thing) for seven days.
Then I’m going to start looking at where I REALLY wanting to be putting that form of energy we call money.
I’m also going to quit planning and start letting the Divine/Universe/The Absolute/God (whatever you want to call the BIG ENERGY that runs through all of us…) surprise me around money.
Let’s be clear. This is not a diet (we all know, diets don’t work!) This isn’t a program to stop spending forever. It’s a way to get conscious around what you’re doing with money.
So are you onboard? I’ll be telling you about what happens.
Post here or catch me on fb or twitter.
Kimberly Schneider,
The Manifestation Maven
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
Everything Is Energy & All Is Well!
I’ve had some great guests on Conscious Manifesting Radio recently!
Last week Marilyn Eagen, the Hormone Harmonizer and I talked about Energetic Sensitivity, how to clear your energy field and quit carrying around material that isn’t yours.
On this week’s show, Adrianus van Muster, author of The Clear View Conspiracy, chatted me up about mind reading, teleporting and other cool stuff. Check out what’s possible for our species!
You can catch both shows if you click on the podcast link of my radio site:
Download any of the shows for free, and feel free to share them with your friends.
be sure to subscribe to the podcast feed to be alerted to new shows each week!
Abundant Blessings,
Kimberly Schneider
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
1 Session with This Life Joy Yenta is Like 2 Years of Therapy? REALLY?
I just got an email from Gail Cloud about her upcoming workshops and I HAD to spread the word because her programs are so amazing! When I first met Gail she said that 1 family constellation session with her was like 2 years of therapy. Being trained as a therapist myself I thought this sounded amazing so I wanted to see if it was for real. Let me tell you…it is!
My husband David and I went to a workshop with Gail late last fall and it was the most significant thing we’ve done in the history of our relationship. We both got some understanding and RELEASING of old family patterns that had been there for generations…and our kids felt it too! I was so impressed I invited Gail to come a few weeks later to help some of my Alchemy of Business clients work through obstacles in their businesses with her. It was truly amazing to see the healing that happened and continues to happen for the people who worked with her.
Whether you want to break through old patterns around relationships, money, career or health, Gail can help!
You can look at her upcoming events and find out about individual sessions with Gail at her website. Also, she’s doing a drawing soon for a FREE consultation with her, and all you have to do to be eligible is request her free ezine! Take a look at http://www.gailcloud.com/events.html
Abundant Blessings,
Kimberly Schneider
The Manifestation Maven
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
Breakthrough to Your Extraordinary Life
This week on Conscious Manifesting Radio Join Kimberly and filmmaker Michal Abney, creator of the movie Breakthrough: Ordinary People Having Extraordinary Conversations to find out how feeling and releasing your emotions is the key to healing your life. Find out all about the movie that’s sure to transform the planet in 2010!
Abundant Blessings,
Kimberly Schneider
The Manifestation Maven
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider
Ireland: Land of Shapeshifters and Dreamers
I’ve always been fascinated with ancient civilizations.
As a child one of my favorite books was a Childcraft Encyclopedia volume about the seven wonders of the ancient world. I started reading adult historical fiction books about Rome, Greece, the Holy Land and Celtic tribes before I turned 10. I majored in Classical Studies in college, taking 30 hours of Latin and continuing my fascination with cultures that had thrived thousands of years before I was born. More recently my focus has been on Celtic spirituality, which I’ve studied and taught for over a decade.
I suppose I succumbed a romantic notion that the spiritual life of ancient people had more immediacy and relevance than in the modern world, where we are constantly distracted by technology, information, celebrity and “news.” Some part of my soul was longing to slow down, to be more present, in deeper communication to the Divine on a moment to moment basis.
Last summer I discovered a place where the old magic I imagined still lives: western Ireland. It awakened something in me that has continued to grow.
Before Ireland I had visited the Catacombs and the Duomo, cried before the Peita, marveled at Michaelangelo’s David, floated through the Blue Grotto on the isle of Capri, prayed with other seekers in the Current Room where John of God works, watched rainbows stretch across the sky in Hawaii and seen many other wondrous places.
While each of these experiences shaped and moved me, never before have I felt the same connection with the numinous that I felt on the west coast of Ireland. Perhaps it’s cellular memory (I’m part Irish), yet I think it’s more. It’s the way the sky and the landscape change from moment to moment, mirroring your own inner shifts. It’s looking out from the cliffs at Dun Aengus and imagining that Tir Na Nog is floating out there, just beyond your sight. It’s listening to Irish voices raised in song, whether around a peat fire, at the local pub or standing next to a towering cairn on the Burren.
This summer I’m returning to County Clare to revisit the magic and facilitate a weeklong workshop on exploring the edges of your soul through Celtic spirituality and landscape. Want to come with me? You can read more about it here: www.KimberlySchneider.com/trips
Slainte,
Kimberly Schneider
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Outer-Focus Disorientation
Yesterday while sitting at a stop light I had a momentary feeling of panic as I felt my car start to roll backwards. Before I could think about what was happening, my hands gripped the steering wheel more tightly, and I was stepping harder on the brake.
And then I realized, I wasn’t moving at all. It was the bus next to me. As it began to roll forward, my brain incorrectly registered that I was moving as well.
What a great demonstration of outer-focus disorientation! When my awareness is on something outside myself, it alters my reality and throws me off balance based on appearances that have nothing to do with me.
Of course, when we are driving, a certain amount of being aware of what others are doing is appropriate, yet how often in life do we get thrown by what is happening outside, instead of staying grounded in our own energy?
I had a bodywork session this week with Marilyn Eagen (the hormone harmonizer…she’s amazing!) and we talked about the fact that many energetically sensitive people are experiencing overwhelm right now as we’re taking on the collective anxiety and angst of the outer culture. I told Marilyn that whenever I center myself and connect with the Divine, I’m fine. It’s only when I let myself get pulled into the collective intensity outside of me that I feel off. So Marilyn gave me an exercise to do, which I’ll share with you now:
Tap the outer edges of your hands together several times, while repeating your name. The spot you’re looking for is on the side of each hand along the edge, about an inch below where your pinkys meet your hands. I notice as I look at my hands that this spot runs right between my hands’ heart and head lines, which is interesting. Anyway, I’ve been doing that several times a day as a physical reminder to stay grounded and focused on what I want to be creating instead of allowing my energy to get pulled off course by anything happen outside of me. It works!
As we move in to 2010, I invite you to surrender whatever stories and outer appearances deprive you of your power. Breathe. Go inside. Tap your hands! And ask yourself: What do I want to create in this coming year? Why do I want to create that? How does that feel? How does it feel RIGHT NOW? And then bask in that energy as the wheel of the year turns once again.
Peace of the turning year to you,
Kimberly
www.facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider