Dear Kimberly,

I was on one of your TeleClasses and I heard you talking about the steps for manifesting what you want.  But I don’t know what I want.  What should I focus on? Mike

Dear Mike,

This is such an important question to ask, because a lot of people are so desperate to change their situation that they don’t stop to ask what they DO want.  Understandably, they just start working as hard as they can to change where they are.  But their confusion and lack of clarity just generates more of the same, and that keeps them stuck.

You don’t say what it is you want to change, but I work with a lot of people who want to change their career or job situation, so let’s go with that.

The fist thing to do is make a list of all the things you don’t like about where you are now.  Maybe your boss micromanages you.  You work in a cubicle.  You have been doing the same thing for seven years and you are bored.  The people you work with are negative because they don’t like working there any more than you do.  There have been a lot of layoffs and so everyone’s worried about losing their job, plus there’s more work and responsibility for the people who are left (but less pay because everyone who’s still there took a pay cut in order to help keep the company afloat).

Now, flip that list around to show you what you DO want:  More freedom.  A visually appealing work environment and space to move.  New and stimulating assignments.  Positive, dynamic people whose company you enjoy.  A sense that everyone enjoys working together for a common purpose.  Pay that reflects your level of commitment to your work and allows you to do the things you love.

Apply that technique to whatever situation you’re dealing with and you’ll quickly get some clues to what you want.  And don’t forget to awaken gratitude for anything you appreciate about your current situation…even if it’s only that you’ve become more aware of what you’ll no longer tolerate.  Gratitude creates more of what you want.

Finally, if you are still confused, make clarity your manifestation goal.  Focus on the times in your life when you’ve felt utterly certain about what was right for you.  Remember that feeling? That’s where you want to bring your attention during your times of meditation and reflection.  Keep coming back to that feeling whenever you notice confusion.  After awhile, the clarity will expand and you’ll know what you want.

Do you have a question for Kimberly? Email schneider.kimberly@gmail.com with the subject line:  Ask the Manifestation Maven. Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, is the creator of the Cornucopia Method of Manifestation™, a powerful and proven five-step method for creating more of what you want in life (and less of what you don’t).  She is the author of Beyond Abundance, a home study course on the Cornucopia Method, and the forthcoming book MORE:Shattering the 5 Illusions that Keep You Stuck . Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, writer, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs.  She awakens people to the wonder of existence and the joy of expressing the Essential Self through meaningful work.  Request Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working and what you can do about it” at www.TheManifestationMaven.com or check out her free 5 Day Audio Course at www.TheFiveManifestationSecrets.com.

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Dear Kimberly,

I saw you on TV talking about Cost vs. Value and I wondered if you could talk about that more.  I’m still not sure I understand the difference.  Therese

Dear Therese,

Cost has to do with the price of an item.

Value has to do with what something is worth to you…what sort of impact it can have on your life.

There’s a big difference!

Whether you are thinking about how to cut back on expenses, or where you might want to invest more, your first question should be “What will this service/product/item do for my life?” and the second question is “What would that be worth to me?”

There’s no right or wrong here.  An item that has high value for one person may seem like a complete waste to someone else.  The important thing to remember is that you want to be spending (or deciding NOT to spend) based on YOUR values… not someone else’s.

Let me give you some examples.  Let’s say you keep seeing commercials about the latest “must have” cell phone.  You actually like the phone you have, and it works great for everything you need.  But everyone keeps saying you HAVE to get this new phone.  You can justify it as a work expense, and it would be pretty cool…

Or maybe it’s the newest fashion, or that cool container for your plants, or the newest CD from a popular artist.  In every case you have to ask: What’s it WORTH? (Not to anyone else, just to you).  Will it make you feel good for a moment, will it let you avoid those uncomfortable thoughts & feelings you’ve been pushing away for just a few more  hours….or will it make you smile for months?

Or maybe you’ve always wanted to travel to Spain.  You’re not sure why….it’s just that any time you’ve seen a movie, or read a book, or heard someone talking about visiting Spain, you feel this incredible longing and excitement.  You’ve toyed with the idea of traveling there, but your first thought when looking at airline tickets and tours is “that costs too much.”  But what’s it worth to you?  What’s the value of making your soul sing?

At the risk of sounding like a credit card commercial, certain experiences are priceless.

And it doesn’t matter whether they make sense to anyone but you.

Do you have a question for Kimberly? Email schneider.kimberly@gmail.com with the subject line:  Ask the Manifestation Maven. Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, is the host of Conscious Manifesting radio on www.webtalkradio.net and a regular contributor to Great Day St. Louis Television show.  Kimberly created the Cornucopia Method of Manifestation™, a powerful and proven five-step method for creating more of what you want in life (and less of what you don’t).  She is the author of Beyond Abundance, a home study course on the Cornucopia Method, and the forthcoming book MORE:Shattering the 5 Illusions that Keep You Stuck . Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, writer, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs.  She awakens people to the wonder of existence and the joy of expressing the Essential Self through meaningful work.  Request Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working and what you can do about it” at www.TheManifestationMaven.com

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Dear Kimberly,

I spend all my time meeting obligations to other people, going to meetings where nothing gets done and doing work that lacks meaning for me. When I get home my family has more demands of me and I have nothing left for them. They are just more people who are pulling on me. It sounds horrible to say it like that, but that’s how it feels. And I don’t want to feel that way. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can’t figure out how this got to be my life. Melinda

Dear Melinda,

I’ll bet that at some point in your life you were rewarded for putting others first. And that sounds great, in theory. But when you spend all of your time and energy meeting other people’s needs and expectations, without attending to your own, you will usually end up resentful or depressed. Or both.

It’s time to examine your beliefs about what it means to be a “good” partner, parent and person, because the inner rules you’ve got going on right now are not supporting you. Make a list of the different roles you play in life and write down, for each, “A good _____ is ___________.” So, for instance, you might discover beliefs such as: a good mother takes her children wherever they want to go.. A good daughter visits her Dad every day at the nursing home. A good wife is always available to her husband.

If the beliefs that are limiting you aren’t immediately apparent, look at your behavior for clues. You might not be aware of a belief that a good team player consistently deprives herself of rest, exercise and proper nutrition for work, but what do your actions say?

Once you are more aware of which beliefs are keeping you in an unhappy, exhausted place, you can start consciously creating new ones. In the meantime, please be compassionate with yourself, seek out the support of a coach or counseling professional if that feels like it would be helpful and work on saying “no.” (More on that next month!) Kimberly

Do you have a question for Kimberly? Email support@kimberlyschneider.com with the subject line:  Ask the Manifestation Maven. Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, is the host of Conscious Manifesting on WebTalkRadio.net and a regular contributor on the Great Day St. Louis TV show. She is the author of Beyond Abundance:  A Home Study Course on the Cornucopia Method of Manifestation, which teaches a powerful, proven five step process for creating more of what you want in life (and less of what you don’t). .  Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, transformational speaker, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs.  She awakens entrepreneurs and other extraordinary individuals to the power of conscious manifestation and the joy of meaningful work.  Request Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working and what you can do about it” at www.TheManifestationMaven.com.

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I get a lot of questions about why visualizing and affirmations aren’t working for people.

And of course, my Beyond Abundance Home Study Course is all about how to consciously manifest the life of your dreams…but here’s a short answer for you:

Many people’s dreams will never come true because their dreams are just fantasies.

They are fantasies, not because they are too wild or improbable, too big or unrealistic, but because they are not backed up by changes in thought and action. We all get little hints from the Universe, all the time, about next steps to take to manifest our desires, but most of the time people either miss the hints entirely or are too scared to act on them.

For example: If you’ve been thinking you wanted to study photography, and the shopping cart you grab at Target has a flyer about cameras on sale – is that just a coincidence, or a hint? How about if it’s not exactly the right kind of camera? Or the camera in the ad is still too expensive?

Your photography idea is a fantasy if, six months later, you still haven’t figured out how to get access to a camera – or even looked at a photography magazine in the library. It’s a dream if you’ve taken at least some action around researching cameras (did you know you can get a lot of very expensive equipment used – even high-end digital gear?) And there are probably ways to start your dream for free.

So what’s your next move?

- K.

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Ask The Manifestation Maven

Dear Kimberly,

I often set goals that I don’t reach. This is really discouraging. Should I just stop setting goals all together and just take things as they come? Stan

Dear Stan,

Congratulations on setting goals. As I’m sure you’ve heard, goals are very important to having the kind of life you want. However, many times even the people who teach you to set goals don’t give you all the information you need to realize them successfully, in a way that will create joy and fulfillment in your life.

You’ve already discovered that just having a goal is not enough to generate the results you desire. There are several other things you need to know about manifesting goals. This is a big subject so I’ll address it over a few columns.

First, you want to be sure that your stated goal is in alignment with an Authentic Desire, rather than simply an ego desire. Many times people set a particular goal because they think it should make them happy; because it matches a popular idea about what it means successful; because it will satisfy another person; or because they are using the goal to distract themselves from dealing with something else they’ve been avoiding. These are just a few examples of ego driven goals. You may even have realized some of these sorts of goals, only to discover that you were no happier than before.

Goals that arise from Authentic Desires, in contrast, are in alignment with your incarnational purpose. They arise from your Essential Self. Authentic Desires create goals that make your soul sing. You feel lighter and freer and expansive when you allow yourself to imagine them. They may feel big and even a little scary. They may even seem outrageous. But they call out the best parts of who you are.

Your Essential Self will get behind your Authentic Desires. So Stan, it may be that your goals are not being realized because they aren’t arising from Authentic Desires. However, it’s important to note that even if your goals are flowing out of your life purpose, you probably won’t manifest them if you aren’t taking other important steps. So next month, we’ll explore the paradox of releasing attachment to outcome.

Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, facilitates Mastermind programs and Transformational Live Events for conscious entrepreneurs and other out-of-the-box individuals. Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, writer, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs. She awakens people to the wonder of existence and the joy of expressing the Essential Self through meaningful work. Request Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working and what you can do about it” at www.TheManifestationMaven.com or check out her free 5 Day Audio Course at www.TheFiveManifestationSecrets.com.

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Ask The Manifestation Maven

Dear Kimberly,

I’m not so sure about The Law of Attraction. If it really works, why am I constantly meeting people who are into “prosperity” and “abundance” but have no money? I am intrigued by the idea that “thoughts make things” but it just doesn’t seem to pan out in the real world. Robin

Dear Robin,

Your question is an important one, and I get some variation on this question almost every day. Here’s the bottom line: the Law of Attraction is always working. But you’re not always conscious of how it works, or that it is working at all. And one thing many folks fail to take into account is how their behavior fits into the equation.

One of the things I am always asking myself is: Am I LIVING in a way that is congruent with what I say I believe? A lot of people espouse positive thinking, prosperity principles and the Law of Attraction, but their BEHAVIOR tells another story.

Your actions create vibrational frequencies. Those frequencies will attract experiences that are consistent with your actions (and the unconscious thoughts, feelings and emotions underlying your actions).

Conscious manifestation requires you to bring several things into alignment with your stated goals: your level of consciousness, thoughts and beliefs, words, emotions, feelings and, last but certainly not least, your actions.

One quick way to bring yourself into alignment with what you want is to ask yourself, moment to moment: 1) who do I want to be? and 2) what would THAT person do right now? Then, of course, you act in a way that’s consistent with your answers.

Try it. See what happens. I think you’ll be pleased with the results.

To get Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working (and what you can do about it)”, go to www.TheManifestationMaven.com. Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, facilitates Mastermind programs and Transformational Live Events for conscious entrepreneurs and other out-of-the-box individuals. Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, writer, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs. She awakens people to the wonder of existence and the joy of expressing the Essential Self through meaningful work.

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Ask The Manifestation Maven

Dear Kimberly,

I’ve watched The Secret and read lots of books on manifestation. I use affirmations but they don’t work. What am I doing wrong? Julia

Dear Julia,

Affirmations don’t work…at least, not the way you think they do. It is true that words have power. In fact, sound begins the process of densing energy into physical form. So what you say does matter. But your affirmations must be in alignment with your unconscious mind, or they won’t get consistent results. Let me explain.

Many people choose an affirmation that is so far from their current experience that it feels false. I don’t blame them, that’s what some of the “positive thinking” literature recommends. But if your unconscious mind can’t get behind your affirmation, then you are sunk. Because while you are saying your affirmation and pretending to believe it, your unconscious mind is saying “What a bunch of BS! Say what you want sister, but I’m not buying it.” This creates resistance in your system. And resistance puts out a vibration that is very different from the statement you are trying to affirm.

When choosing an affirmation, choose one that is positive yet believable. For instance, if you want to lose 40 pounds, an affirmation of “I am at my perfect weight” is incongruent with what you see on the scale. However, if you are starting to exercise or eat healthier, you can affirm, “My body is getting stronger all the time” or “my behavior supports my perfect physical health.” You could also say, “I am grateful for all the ways my body supports me” because, no matter what is going on with your body, the fact that it carries your spirit through space and time, creating and destroying cells, organizing instantaneous communication between all your systems, breathing, digesting and pumping blood without your conscious input is nothing short of miraculous.

Choose words that move you in the direction of who you want to be. Then take actions to support your words. More on the actions next month!

Kimberly Schneider, M.Ed., J.D., LPC, facilitates Mastermind programs and Transformational Live Events for conscious entrepreneurs and other out-of-the-box individuals. Kimberly is a lawyer, counselor, poet, writer, spiritual adventurer, world traveler, alchemist, wife and mother to 2 extraordinary children–one of whom has special needs. She awakens people to the wonder of existence and the joy of expressing the Essential Self through meaningful work. Request Kimberly’s FREE Conscious Life Creation e-course and find out “Why the Secret Isn’t Working and what you can do about it” at www.TheManifestationMaven.com

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