Yesterday my focus was on being an instrument of peace.
Early in the afternoon I caught myself being critical of someone during a conversation with David. “I guess that doesn’t contribute to peace, does it?” I said. As soon as I consciously invited peace into the situation, I began to feel differently about the person. In fact, I woke up this morning praying for her. And I feel differently about myself too, because I never feel happy inside when I give in to that (almost irresistable) temptation to connect with one person by cutting down another. It shrinks us all.
Later in the day I received some disappointing news. For the first time in a few months, I did not go into reactive mode. I let myself feel the hurt. And then, miracle of miracles, my mind said to me, “take this to prayer and meditation; seek the meaning of it. You know that everything that happens in your life is an answer to your heart’s deepest longings.”
Now that’s something I would tell my clients. I know it intellectually (I write and teach about it, for goodness sake!) But I have been letting my mind run my consciousness lately (until this inner experiment). So it was a real gift to feel my Essential Self emerging naturally in the space I created by clearning out some of the internal clutter.
Aaaah…that feels so much better! I went on to have a lovely evening with my family, shopping for gifts, listening to holiday music and enjoying wonderful food, all the while feeling the spirit of Christmas enveloping me. I kept smiling with the particular joy that comes from being present.
I don’t know yet about the meaning of the news I received yesterday. So I’ll spend today seeking direction while I continue to prepare my heart and home to receive Christmas.
Wishing you the blessings of an emptier mind,